Flash Fiction: The Next Door Neighbour

Writing update: My internet has been a real kill joy of late. The service provider is about to receive some hate mail. I wish I were one those people that can do things later. Instead, I enter procrastination mode and shit time flies! Hasn’t helped that when I have sat to spit out flash fiction the stories have turned out longer and seem too precious to share online when they can be polished. New stories are like new toys and writers don’t like to share. Not sure alcohol intake helps either.

Flower pot
Bird feeder
Next door neighbour

This story is 100% fiction.


The Next Door Neighbour

“Neighbours, everyone lives with Neighbours, they are there for one another, that’s why Neighbours become good friends.” What a load of horse dung. My next door neighbour is a complete arse hole. Nothing but trouble since he moved in. You would not believe what that vile wank of a man just did! Yesterday while I was out doing the shopping  and catching up with friends, he committed an act of felony and jumped the fence. I don’t know how he moved  his fat prick without the fence collapsing under his McDonald thick shake body. He could have dug a hole and crawled under it for all I care, although it would have taken him 10 years to dig a hole large enough for his frame. At any rate he attacked my beloved galah. And I know it was him cause he is sporting two bloody bird bites on his temple where I would like to stick a bullet. When I came home, I noticed the poor bird hanging his head low and when I investigated found rat bate in the bird feeder. Vengeance is mine. When the abortion reject known as my next door neighbour left for god knows where (a brothel? Cause you know he pays for it), I went to his house. I found a key in his flowerpot by the door. It wasn’t hard cause his not god’s most intelligent creature. Without care a let myself in. Then I set his curtains on fire! Oh its good to be underage.

2 thoughts on “Flash Fiction: The Next Door Neighbour

  1. Sounds like my neighbour 🙂 A nightmare on Ramsay Street, I wonder if he lives next door to Scott and Charlene

    1. oracleopus says:

      Does your neighbour have a mullet or a bad perm? 🙂

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