Disclaimer: This story is not intended for small children. It’s just a bit of fun for older people who enjoy humour during the jolly season (I’ve been hearing about people getting their knickers in a knot over Christmas themed horror films and other Christmas mockery, and now feel paranoid haha).
StoryWorld Card from the Christmas Tales pack: Magic Sleigh
The Magic Sleigh
Santa was sick, one too many choc balls had his head down the toilet. His wife had warned him and slapped his fingers away, but the elves were under his command. Well some of them. Actually none of them were. Rudolph was the only one who wasn’t afraid of the Mrs. He was easily lead by chocolate.
Mrs Clause shrieked as she discovered a trail of diarrhoea leading through the house. The poor creature was ordered outside in the frost, skid marks staining the virgin snow. Nope, he wouldn’t be delivering presents tonight.
“What the fuck were you thinking? Who do you think you are? Jesus Christ? All you had to do was wait ’til Christmas morning.”
It may be icy outside but that was nothing compared to the blizzard raging inside.
“She’ll be right.”
Santa grabbed a near by elf’s cap and puked. Without thought he returned the cap to the elf’s head.
“We’ll do it,” the elves chorused wanting to leave.
“You’ll be riding in the dark, Rudolph’s fucked.”
“We’ll be fine,” said the head elf knowing they would be safer risking the black, the Mrs was a real bitch when irate.
And that is how Santa trashed Christmas.