PHOTO PROMPT © Sandra Crook for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers. Other stories featuring the prompt can be found here.
Her heart tried to break through her chest. Could they hear it? Give away her hiding location? She crouched low, willing her frame to be as small as possible. Time slowed down. Every now and then she peeked between the bars. They were coming on the tide. The ship with tatty sails rode alone the waves, arriving closer and close to shore. Mesmerised her pupils locked onto the scene unfolding. Men began jumping into the water, swimming to land. The sun shimmered through their bodies as they pulled their vessel with ropes. She put a hand over mouth, suppressing a scream. A pair of piercing blue eyes located hers through nature’s fence from the beach.
A first encounter, if I read this right. You capture her terror well
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I’m not sure if it was her first encounter, may have been. I should put the flash in my to be expanded pile 😀.
Thanks Neil
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I could feel her terror mount. Well done, Tannille!
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Thanks Dale!
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Dear Tanille,
The mounting tension is tangible in this well described scene.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. I really felt this one while writing.
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Great scene of tension and drama.
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Thanks Iain!
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This is terrifying and a great read. Haunted sailors, ghost vikings?
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I’m not sure tbh, as I wrote I debated viking or pirates and decided to leave the identity ambiguous. It would be fun to explore more!
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This heralds the beginning of a great novel. Perhaps nestled in the years of sailing ships and smugglers on the coast of England. A great piece of suspense in a few words.
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It would be fun to expand. The muse had fun with this one.
Thanks P!
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Great atmospherics. Superb edge of the seat writing. Loved this no end.
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Thanks Neel! One of my better ones I think 😀
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Tense writing, Tannille. The ending is chilling. I fear your main character doesn’t have long to live.
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I’m not sure. It can go either way. It’s the type of story my creative mind wants to explore. She is in trouble for sure!
Thanks Penny!
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Exciting stuff, Tannille, can’t see it ending well!
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Wouldn’t want to be her. These ghosts are creepy.
Thanks Ceayr!
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Nicely paced, beautifully described.
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Thanks Sandra!
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Great start, now I want to know the end -or perhaps I don’t.
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Oh it could go either way, they might toy with her for a while lol.
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Great beginning. Could feel her fear.
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Thanks Shirley!
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I can’t seem to load up your webpage 🙁
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Finally someone knows her hiding place. Must be very good eye sight.
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She should have stayed low to avoid her head from being seen.
Thanks Abhijit!
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Not such a great hiding place after all. I’m guessing they’re ghosts with the sun shining through them? Not so easy to hide from the departed!
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Yes ghosts. You can run but you can’t hide…
Thanks Draliman!
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This must be the first time piercing blue eyes were so freaky! Nicely done.
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They can be beautiful or freaky!
Thanks Fatima!
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Oh oh, doesn’t sound good that she was discovered… With the eye color I will go with Vikings as my choice of invader.
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I toyed between pirates or vikings. Never decided. But vikings is a nice choice.
Thanks Trent!
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For a moment I was drawn back to a movie… durn but the title escapes me… Girl, boy, shipwrecked on an island. Left open to the imagination, this is a very scary story indeed!
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The Blue Lagoon?
No ghosts on that island, but writing a story The Blue Lagoon meets ghost pirates would be fun!
Thanks Bear!
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Ah, yes! That’s the title, thanks!
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A good buildup that shows her mounting tension. There is something strange in the neighborhood. Who is she going to call?
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Ghost Busters! – sorry couldn’t resist.
Very strange neighbourhood. Story could be blown out.
Thanks for the read!
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Oh no. Ghostly sailors. Very scary stuff.
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The worst kind of sailor.
Thanks Margaret!
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If the sun shone through them I’m guessing they were ghosts of pirates perhaps? This would be a great beginning for a longer story. Good writing, Tanille. 🙂 — Suzanne
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You guessed correct. It would be fun to write something much longer.
Thanks Suzanne!
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Lovely stuff, possibly a spectral ship arriving. Great tension and suspense
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Thank you, a fun write.
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This would be a great opening for a very scary novel. Excellent writing.
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Storing this one away for a rainy day!
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Terrifying place to be. I don’t know how she stayed as silent as she did.
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I imagine her tongue has a number of bite marks.
Thanks Violet!
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You described her fear well and now she’s been discovered the danger is heightened she needs to get away fast
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Yes! Poor kid.
Thanks Michael!
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I felt her tension from the beginning all the way through to the final moment when the pirate ghost locked eyes with hers. It doesn’t bode well for her, methinks! =) Well-described scene, Tannille.
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Thanks Brenda. I really got into this one!
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Really tense and chilling!
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Thanks Dawn!
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