“Um, I’m not sure I know how to tell you this, but you know that statue I’m guarding?… Yes, the one believed to be a calcified giant’s head. Well, it blinked… No, I haven’t been smoking my pipe, snorting or popping pills… I slept well thanks… No family history of mental illness… Now you’re just being rude… Fine screw you, don’t say I didn’t warn you… Its eyes are opening again – shit shit…”
Back up arrived. No sign of the guard, only his phone on the cement pavers and a pile of ash. The lengths people will go to get out of work.