PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers (other stories using the prompt can be found here)
A detail that may be of interest; This week’s flash fiction turned out to be set in the novel series I am working on. I think my muse might be telling me something since I’ve been slack – Get back to work beetch… (She’s so polite!)
An alley. Always happens in an alley. Every single time. Why not in the pub across the road? The cops and guardians paid off. Hell, they are usually the main consumers on the black market. The venue warmer, a fire raging in the hearth. Oh his phoenix blood detested the snow, rivaling his dislike for crowds. He tapped his foot in the snow, leaving an imprint. Patience not one of his virtues. His hand rested on his dagger at his waist. Can never be too careful when there is a price on one’s head. A lightning bolt illuminated the shadows. The transaction would have to wait while the snow stained with battle blood.
Note: In this mythological story world, lightning comes from rival Lightning Birds
I loved “always happened in an alley”
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Thanks Neil!
I thought it was cliche and considered changing the line lol. But sometimes I like cliches and question why they are considered bad by writing gurus.
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It’s not a cliche
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It’s such a guilty feeling when you know you should have done some writing but haven’t…! Interesting snippet, hope to read more 🙂
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Thanks Iain. Life happened as I call it. After a while if I don’t write I go a bit nuts lol.
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I felt like you were giving us clues of what is to come. Theres a bounty on his head, yet he left his footprint and perhaps is fighting a few enemies before leaving. Doesnt seem too prudent. Interesting character indeed.
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Thanks for the feedback! Not too sure where this scene/story/event took place. My brain often gives me snippets here and there. In chronological order would be nice…
Well have to flesh this out, 100 words doesn’t cut it!
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Dear Tanille,
Love the alley comment…always happened in the alley. Nice rhythm to the piece overall. Those muses can be so demanding. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle, much appreciated 😀
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Tight writing but, perhaps because it is part of a longer piece, I was left rather confused.
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Thanks for the feedback. Hard to keep to 100 words and include a beginning, middle & end!
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Reading your note about Lightning Birds helped clarify this piece, but I’m still not exactly sure what just happened. Hurry up and finish the book 🙂
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In short the protagonist was in the alley to make an illegal trade. Instead we was attacked. I really wanted more words lol.
I need to get back into it 😀
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I know the feeling.
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Fascinating piece. It makes me want to read more.
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Thanks for the encouragement!
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Intriguing story, Tanille. I want to know more about this warrior with the phoenix blood. =)
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Thanks Brenda. He’s a very stubborn, strong willed character. Loads of fun to play with!
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For sure. And Francine is eternally patient (haha). Thank you for reading and commenting! =)
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Oh my goodness, how embarrassing. I read your comment too quickly and thought you were commenting on my story. I tried to delete the following comment but can’t figure out how. So sorry!! =)
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Haha, we’ve all been there.
Maybe it’s a sign I need a Francine!
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Inside the mind of a troubled man. A touch of fear and indecision contrasting the purity of unemotional snow.
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Something about the snow.
Thanks P.
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Is he planning to attack someone? He does not like snow and crowd. Prefers alleys and knows police men do business in blackmarket.
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Pretty much it. He’s attacked. He’s a wanted man/phoenix. It needed more than 100 words…
Thanks Abhijit 😀
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Wonderful glimpse into a bigger story. I, too, loved the first lines!
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Thanks Dale. Pesky self doubt slipped in lol
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I’m not sure what good his little dagger will be against Lightning Birds. Like they say, never bring a dagger to a lightning fight.
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It’s made of a special mental only phoenix can melt and mould. He just needs to be a good shot. Maybe he’ll use a fire ball instead?
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So what’s going on I wonder? It’s hard to convey a full story in 100 words but that is the beauty of a novel in a ‘drable’. What is not said expands in the readers mind.
Best of luck with your novel, now get back to work.
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Haha thanks James.
I have been a busy girl (although I took Easter off) 😀
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The attack by the lightning birds only was clear to me through your comment, but otherwise it’s a great insight into that world and the character. It draws me right in.
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Thank you… I really wanted more words lol
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I’m intrigued by the world you’ve built. Great atmosphere and mood – hard to do in 100 words.
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Thanks Margaret. Started strong and then looked at the word count and needed to wrap it up lol
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This sounds like the excerpt of an action-filled story, Tannille. Good writing. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks Suzanne. Lots of action.
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Excellent scene set. Makes me wonder what is behind it all..
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I loved the tapping of the foot, and saw a red hot footprint.
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He isn’t really patient lol
Thanks Michael!
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