Flash Fiction / Fudged Up Fairy Tales

Flash Fiction: No Place Like Home (A Fudged Up Fairy Tale)

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PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers. Other stories featuring the prompt can be found here.

There’s no place like home.

Dorothy skipped through the field. Her adventures with Scarecrow, Tinman, and Lion lived on in her head. The Wicked Witch — what a bitch, but she had good taste in shoes.

Sighing, Dorothy admired the trophies on her feet, so sparkly and red. And soo worth killing for.
Eat your heart out, Cinderella.

She breathed in the fresh air. So good to be home.

“Dorothy, where the friggin-hell have you been? Go milk the cows, then gather the eggs.”

“Yes, Aunt Em.”

“Oh, and when you finish, pick up the horse shit. My flowers need TLC.”

Dorothy clicked her heels frantically.

“There is no place like Oz.”

👠👠👠

Story Notes

This bite-sized story was inspired by the iconic classic tale “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” by L. Frank Baum. A fantastical story about a lost little girl finding her way home. TLC stands for tender loving care.

Word count hindered The Muse. She’s feeling outraged because she wanted Dorothy to return to Oz and make a coat out of Lion’s pelt. You know, to have something to wear with those fancy shoes. A bit brutal but she did just kill a woman in a hate crime towards witches. All over shoes! 

Speaking of shoes. Aunty Em was going to mistake Dorothy for a street walker and Uncle Henry was going to have a foot fetish. You were saved by the 100-word limit for the story. Clearly, I have been watching too many YouTube videos on “Twin Peaks” and embracing my inner David Lynch. 

More Fudged Up Fairy Tales can be read here.

52 comments

  1. A few years ago, one of my short stories, “There’s No Place Like Home,” was published in a fantasy anthology. After the wicked witch cashed in, Dorothy decided she didn’t want to go back to boring, old Kansas. A few years later, she’d taken over the witches domain, Toto, flying monkeys, and all.

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  7. This was great, T! Normally, I don’t read the extroduction (as I feel the story should not need one 😉 ). However, something made me read this one and it was hilarious. You are a lovely nut!

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    1. I often write story notes like this for my Medium blog. To get paid I need to keep the reader on my page for 30 seconds. I recycle the FF hundred words stories, but feel they fall short. So I add humorous story notes. Strangely they are often a bigger hit than the actual story with my readers. Go figure.

      Thanks, D. 🙂

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      2. I been on Medium for about six months. It does pay. I thought it was a bit of a scam at first. For me, the earnings are pocket money. Some people make a substantial amount. However, to be successful a writer has to network like crazy. Some writers don’t do very well on the platform. I think you would do great, because you reciprocate. The platform isn’t the best for fiction writers but writers don’t have to niche down and can write about anything.

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      3. I was on it way back when but didn’t really do anything with it. I already spend so much bloody time on WP and have a decent following. The thought of starting over… ugh. It would be nice to get paid to write, though 😉

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      4. Starting over was challenging. I’m more popular on Medium than WP now. But I don’t want to put all my eggs into one basket. For you WP is booming. Medium is a lot of work to get noticed (it’s like that on any platform).

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      5. That is probably why I’ve pretty much abandoned Medium. I am blown away by my audience, to be honest. I was looking back at my first posts with zero likes, no comments, and then slowly, very slowly it crept up. I am a good participant/reciprocator in the challenges which has surely made all the difference. It’s funny because I didn’t expect a damn thing.

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      6. For me the key is not to expect much. It keeps the motivation going. I believe reciprocation is a must. Some are lucky and are endorsed by a company or something. You’re the Prompt Queen!

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      7. Expectation is always an inducer of heartbreak! Yeah, that must be cool to be endorsed – unless it means you have to write for them. Oh stop it! I’ve cut back hugely!

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  20. That was funny. I enjoyed your twist. I’ve often fantasized about escaping the doldrums of chores, many of which are poop-related, and fleeing to a magical land where the roads are paved with gold like my ancestors did.

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