Flash Fiction: Caffeina

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PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers. Other stories featuring the prompt can be found here.

Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite met up for brunch. The goddesses reminisced over the good old days when the gods reined supreme. A time before their roles were rendered to archetypes in storybooks. 

“I don’t know why we let Paris decide our worth.”

“Like that mortal knew true beauty.”

“You two were such sore losers,” said Aphrodite, flicking her blonde curls. 

“Oh, really?” 

“Why don’t we ask him?” Athena caught the waiter’s attention. “Excuse me sir, who’s your favourite goddess?”

The young man shrugged. “Caffeina.”

Egos fell to Hades; upstaged by a younger 21st-century goddess. 

Caffeina — goddess of energy, stamina, and determination. 

~*~

Note:
This story is a sequel to Greek mythological tale The Judgement of Paris, aka the catalyst for the Trojan War.

Bonus:
The Judgement of Paris Recap According to The Muse


Once upon a time,
Greek goddesses Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite were contestants in the very first beauty pageant. Even horn bag Zeus knew that judging such a contest would see his nuts cut off, and bowed out. Prince Paris of Troy was given the honour of judging the contest. Each goddess turned to bribery. Athena offered undefeatable battle skills, Hera, all of Europe, and Aphrodite, the most beautiful woman in the cosmos. Nevermind the woman happened to be Helen — a married queen.

Ancient men, just like today’s, had a weakness between the legs, so of course, Paris chose Helen as his reward. In true Greek style, everything turned to shiz. Hello, Trojan War.

And no human lived happily ever after.
The end.

41 comments

  1. We’ll always have Paris… In the illiad he was such a waste of mortal flesh, starting a ruinous war but sitting out of it because he is a lover, not a fighter (duh – he did chose Aphrodite). Shame his poor decision still goes on, though I guess it is fitting that the modern day Paris chooses Caffeina – I’ve sat in a Parisian sidewalk cafe and have to think it is the better chose 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Diving into this Greek mythology tale, really got me thinking how time has changed but people haven’t. Women still compete for male attention and can be toxic. Men still chase the pretty face even if it means destroying his world. Of course not everyone is like this — thankfully.

      Thanks L!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. They scoff at one mere mortal man’s ability to discern their worth, then seek validation by asking another one. So funny. Shame that so many young women (non-goddesses) crave the same approval. Terrific story – and a great bonus from ‘The Muse’.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I find digging into Greek mythology fascinating — they are a reflection of us. Many young women are programmed to compete for male approval. And men chase the pretty face regardless of the consequences.

      Thanks M!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great story, Tannille and it’s reminded me to read the two books I’ve bought on Greek mythology by Stephen Fry. Have you read them? I am surrounded by books I haven’t read. It Man On Earth” today. Have you read it? I am loving it.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I feel like a naughty writer — I don’t read much. I do spend hours researching random things. Stephen Fry stuff is meant to be good. So many books, too few hours.

      Thanks R!

      Like

      1. I’m with you Tannille. My mind’s been wandering a lot lately and I’ve wasted so much time. However, I have finished Eddie Jaku’s “The Happiest Man On Earth”, and it was fabulous. Some really strong life lessons there. So much hope. Very interesting too.
        I also wrote a post about Australian Women at the Top 1961 which I thought you’d enjoy: https://beyondtheflow.wordpress.com/2022/05/02/australias-women-at-the-top-1961/
        Best wishes,
        Rowena

        Liked by 1 person

  4. They just should have used the mirror of snow white’s stepmother. It’d have told them the truth.
    Great story and as a lifelong slave to Caffeina I just have to love it.
    I’m gonna get another cup…

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Love it! A funny story with some serious underlying concerns. The Ancient Greeks were so observant of psychological flaws, weren’t they? Thanks for the bonus, too. An excellent retelling of the story. Eat your heart out, Homer!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Good one, T. I love your modern-day tales of gods and goddesses. Caffeina has a great many worshippers. I loved the retelling of Paris and Helen’s origin story. I’m not sure Homer would approve, but fuck him.

    Liked by 2 people

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