Piggy-Piggy is a stand-alone story. The character Piggy was mentioned in the flash fiction story “Drip Drip!” Many readers asked about Piggy’s fate. This story is about Piggy written in Froggie’s voice. “Drip Drip!” can be read here.
Do you want to know what happened to Piggy? I’ll tell you what happened to Piggy. Rest her beautiful soul. Piggy was Riley’s favourite. A friend from birth. None of us could compete with the first stuffed animal. And frankly, Piggy was awesome, a real mate’s mate and ever so funny. Her little tail curled as she squealed with laughter. I came next, as green as Piggy is pink.
Over the next couple of years, our toy family grew. Ted tried to reign as supreme toy friend and challenged Piggy, “Everyone loves Teddy”.
No, no, they don’t, you arrogant wanker. Ted thought he was better than everyone else because he was made in Germany and not China like the rest of us. A Christmas gift from Grandma. He was paraded every time Gran visited much to Riley’s fuss. Sometimes Piggy was allowed to tag along with Ted, given her calming effect on Riley.
We all took turns playing with Riley. The kid loved to use my squishy body for a pillow during afternoon naps while piggy snuggled into Riley’s belly. Ted watched with beady eyes from the corner of the playpen. Kitty cat purred at Riley’s ear. Kitty was new to our family and her fur was as pristine as it could be. She was a second birthday present from family friends who had a white cat — a real one with claws. Riley has scratches to prove it. Turns out the animal didn’t like her tail pulled. See stuffed is better.
On the fatal day, we were all in the playpen, sleeping. I woke up, sniffing the air. Poo-wee. Mum was nowhere to be seen. I looked at the clock: 3:30pm. We overslept. Riley stirred and sat up. Where was Mum?
“She’s on the phone with her sister,” said one of the birds.
Great, she was going to be ages. Those human women could talk… for… ever… All we could do was wait. Unfortunately, Riley was a toddler and got bored easily. The kid was good-natured… except… for the moments.
Riley stood up with the help of the bars and threw Moo-moo and Nay-Nay out of the play pin. They were the lucky ones. Riley giggled and unfastened his nappy.
Riley’s undressing was nothing new. But Mum always stopped him during these delicate times.
“No Riley, be a good boy, wait for Mummy,” said Piggy.
Her pleading fell on dead ears. Riley saw the situation as a game and giggled more. Oh, Santa’s magical drums!
Riley’s soiled nappy fell to the floor.
“What’s going on?” said Kitty, new to the brown stuff game.
The chaos began. The giant poo master chased us around the playpen. Foul! Kitty was the first to go. Riley picked her up with brown hands and dropped her. To this day, she has a stain on her belly and earned the name Shitty-Kitty.
I don’t know how I got the kid on me. Everything is a blur. Trauma messes with the memory. Eventually, Riley began to tire and slowed down. Ted hid in the corner, unscathed. Riley honed in on Ted with stretched-out arms. Ted wasn’t taking it and pushed Riley at the knees.
Riley wobbled on his feet. Piggy, faithful and loving, acted on instinct.
She softened Riley’s impact by placing herself between Riley and the floor. Riley’s dirty bottom made contact with Piggy’s plush body. Oh, holy smokes. Riley rolled off her. From pink to brown. And the smell… I hate that bear.
The sound of Mum hanging up the phone echoed throughout the room. Her footsteps approached. Showtime. Kitty dove under the rug and the rest of us froze where we were. Toy rule 1: Never let adults know you are alive.
Poor Piggy… One day that bear is going down. I swear by the Blue Fairy. Being brown is a chip on his shoulder because let’s face it, brown is a crap colour.
“Ok my baby boy —”
Mum didn’t finish that sentence. She stood with her mouth open. Riley offered her the turd in his hands. If only I had a camera. I’d save the moment for the kid’s 21st.
Mum took a deep breath. Clearly, she wanted to unleash the verbal beast. Grabbing a couple of baby wipes, she took the gifted turd. She sighed as lifted the kid out of the play pin and guided him down the hall. They disappeared. The shower ran.
“I feel so gross,” said Kitty.
Piggy laid on the floor shaking. She was covered. “How bad is it?”
“Nothing a soak won’t fix. Nappy San is magic,” I croaked.
Mum came back with a plastic bag. We were gathered one by one. Ted was inspected and placed on the table. She picked up Piggy and gagged. Poo touched her hands. Piggy was tossed into a separate plastic bag with Riley’s used nappy. That was the last time we saw Piggy. Kitty, myself, Blanket and others, went straight into the washing machine and then the dryer. That night, Ted slept with Riley with a smile. I hate that bear. R. I. P Piggy. Vengeance is yours.
“Watch your back Ted, you’re next.”