Short Story: Oink-Oink

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Note:
Oink-Oink is a stand-alone short story set in “‘The Fairy Express World” . However, chronologically the story is a sequel to Piggy-Piggy. Piggy-Piggy can be read here with all its filth. The character Piggy was also mentioned in the flash fiction story “Drip Drip!” (Tannille’s answer to Toy Story). “Drip Drip!” can be read here.

~*~

The Brown Fairy trolled the neighbourhood searching for dog doo. The dim lights from the street’s lamp post aided his vision, but really he was relying on his nose. What he offered was a community service. Next to the footpath, a dry log sat. Too old. He kicked the turd with his foot and the waste crumbled. If the doo didn’t smell, it was no good to him. Nobody cares for shit that doesn’t stink. 

The 21 century made his life harder. Most people flushed their exits, disregarding their value. Shocking! On the bright side, the modern human was more squeamish when it came to browns, yellows, reds, and regurgitated food. And that made messing with the over grown apes so much fun. Brown had standards though, he didn’t care for blood. Way too messy and metal smelling — yuck! Sometimes blood contaminated his doo. It wasn’t right. 

Brown skipped along with his nose to the air. Ugh, roses. Red ones. La-la-la, la-de-la. The floral scent unstuck itself from his nose. A twinge of odour twitched. Well hello. He took a deep breath and smiled. The doo was fresh. Probably a few hours old. Nothing a bit of sun wouldn’t fix. Brown clicked his heals and walked towards a bin sitting in somebody’s yard. He opened the lid and tossed the content on the lawn. Another classic prank school taught them. Brilliant. Brown crouched on his hands and knees and tossed the trash over his shoulders as he went. Food scraps — use a compost, you wasteful heathen. Shrink wrap — yuck. Cardboard — wrong bin moron. And there it was, the glorious perfume! 

Brown sat back. The plastic bag in his hands moved. What the puck? He dropped the bag. The opening of the bag opened, and a smeared brown and pink head peeked through. Brown eyes shone with sorrow and despair. 

“It’s alright little pig, I won’t hurt you.”

Piggy slid out of the bag. She was covered from head to toe in poo. What monster would discard a toy in such a way? Toys had feelings, too. They matter. And the joy they give, especially to little ones. Brown shook his head in disgust. 

“I’m hideous!”

“No, little pig, you’re beautiful.”

“Put me back in the bin.” 

Piggy started to cry. Brown patted her soiled fur. He couldn’t leave her like this. She needed a new home, but not even Santa would take her. “Kids don’t want shit toys for Christmas.” The fat man was always worried about his reputation. Poor sweet piggy already had a distinct personality. A soul was created by a child’s play. Piggy wasn’t an empty canvas. She was cherished and loved. A nurturer. A protector. And he would do the right thing by her.

“Come Piggy. I’ll take you back with me to fairyland.”

🐷🐷🐷

Brown hid Piggy in his backpack and boarded The Fairy Express. The other fairies gave him a wide berth. Nothing new. They didn’t understand his tastes. Although, you’d think the blood fairy would be a bit more tolerant. She sat in the corner of the carriage covered in blood. Brown made a B-Line.

“Don’t even think about it, Crappers.”

“Oh, come on, they hate me just as much as they do you.”

She shook her head and grabbed her bloody knife. “Don’t make me use it.”

Brown threw up his hands, “Alright, alright”.

Brown looked around the carriage. An empty row behind Lavender Fiary. Brilliant. Lavender started choking. 

“So foul!”

She looked behind and glared at Brown.

“What have you done?”

“Nothing…”

Brown began bouncing his knee and gripped his bag.

“Liar. You reek more than usual. Not even flowers could hide that filth. Puck me, you brought another doodoo bomb on the train.”

Brown shook his head. Just because one time he bombed the train, he would suffer eternally. It was worth it, though. 

“No one got hurt except me. I had to spend a month at the spa. It was torturous. The smell of vanilla and sugar still gives me nightmares.”

Lavender clicked her tongue. 

“You’re up to something.”

Brown’s knuckles whitened, and he pulled his bag closer. 

“I just need a wash.”

Lavender sat back in her seat. Brown took a breath. Hopefully that would be the end of it and he could make it back to Fairy Land in peace. On arrival, he wouldn’t linger and flee to grandma Amber’s cottage instead.

Lost in thought, Brown felt his bag being away. Lavender yanked and Brown lost his grip. The force pushed Lavender from her seat with the bag. Piggy squealed. The flower fairy dropped the bag. Piggy bolted out and ran down the aisle. Silence filled the carriage. Eyes on Brown. Then screams as Piggy ran through fairy legs, leaving skid marks. Chaos. Busted.

“Oh Puck!”

6 comments

  1. “Kids don’t want shit toys for Christmas.” 🤣 They might not even be welcomed on the Isle Of Misfit Toys. I’m intrigued to see what shenanigans Brown and Piggy get up to in Fairy Land. 💩🐷

    Liked by 1 person

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